God Games
by Jedi Arwen Sparrow Winchester
Summary: To save the world from destruction, the Greek gods create the Olympic Games! They themselves compete, and so do our Trojan war Heroes! Watch Hector in weightlifting, Paris in Archery, Achilles in sprinting? Newly rewritten, and chapter 4 up!
1. Needing a Solution

Chapter 1- Needing a Solution

**A/N: Hi, I finally updated and rewrote the first 3 chapters of this fic, so I'm back, and am writing chapter 5 even now. **

Hades grumbled as he glided up the marble staircase. He had just been summoned to yet another 'god meeting'. Of course, being that his younger brother Zeus had issued it; the subject was bound to be tedious.

He adjusted the Helm of Darkness and with black robes billowing behind him, climbed the last steps, intending to make a dramatic entrance into the hall.

This plan, however, was foiled by Zeus running up and nearly crashing into him. Hades only managed to escape by sidestepping just beforehand.

"Hades," Zeus beamed. "It's been too long. How've you been? And more importantly," he added. "How's Persephone?"

Hades fought the urge to flee and tried to appear diplomatic. "The Underworld is well. It is full of gold, the dead and the dark." He continued, "And Persephone decided she would miss this meeting."

Zeus looked disappointed. "It would've been nice to see her again…"

Hades just rolled his eyes and stepped past Zeus. The other god hardly noticed until a few seconds later.

He sat down in his appointed chair and grimaced. "These events never end well."

Xxxxxxxxx

The council table was abuzz with confusion. Hestia looked rather maniacal as she lit tiny flames on fellow gods' robes, Aphrodite was holding a large engraved mirror and arranging her hair, Zeus was staring into space with a glassy look, Hera looked exasperated, and Ares was polishing his sword with a nasty look at Hephaestus.

Also, Hades noted with some distaste,

Hermes was discreetly trying to steal something from Artemis, Apollo had a gag on to stop him from singing, Dionysus had hidden a bottle of wine on his chair and was looking rather dizzy, Poseidon's robes and hair were dripping with sea water and grubby looking sea creatures, Hephaestus was smirking at Aphrodite and Athena glared omnipotently over the entire group.

Hades mentally repeated all of the reasons why he preferred the Underworld.

Finally Zeus spoke. "The reason I've called you here is that, I'm super bored."

All the gods twitched. When Zeus was bored, anything could happen.

"And you know," Zeus mumbled. "Poseidon was kind of bored too, so I invited him over. And well…"

"What?" demanded Hera.

"I was throwing lightning bolts, and Poseidon was making some really big waves, it was actually fun…"

"Get to the point, for Olympia's sakes," growled Hades, getting more exasperated by the minute.

"We ah err…..kind of sank Atlantis." Poseidon said, looking sheepishly at Zeus.

"I should've expected this," muttered Hades. "A new lot of occupants for the Underworld, what with all the trouble the current ones cause!"

Hermes blinked. "What kind of trouble do they cause?"

Hades glared at him "The occupants in the various rivers have different reactions, those in the river Styx; for example, tend to have hatred towards anyone, including myself. The boat rides to and from my mansion are riddled with various attacks."

Hermes digested this new piece of information easily enough; Zeus just looked at Hades with a rather dense expression.

"Alright!" shouted Athena. "We need to go fix this up. Poseidon, you started this, so go clean up the wreckage. Hermes, go get Thanatos, he needs to get all the dead. Hera, can you keep an eye on Zeus?"

Hera marched over to Zeus, who was hiding in his chair. "I'll keep him from getting into trouble."

"Get moving," barked Athena, waving her spear. "The rest of you sit quietly, and don't dare cause any more havoc!"

/xxxxxxxx/

After quite awhile, with various arguments and problems along the way, the disaster area was cleared, and the gods gathered again to discuss matters of extreme importance, like curing Zeus' boredom.

"I could teach you farming, it's an important skill," said Demetor, twisting a grain of wheat in her hand.

"No way," said Ares. "Why don't you and I go off and kick the stuffing out of Persia or something?"

Athena glared. "There will be no more disasters, Ares!"

"Then what do you suggest, Athena?" asked Hera. The situation was getting quite desperate.

"Let me think," said the goddess of wisdom. At that moment, Apollo broke free of his gag.

"Zeus, my lord, you should learn to siiiiiinggggggg…..for singing is a wonderful thiiiiiinnnnnng!"

He reached operatic tones, making Dionysus' wine bottle splatter its contents over the table. As the screeching became higher, the stone table suddenly cracked in two. Hands covering their ears, the gods all tried to scramble under the remains of the table as a form of safety.

"Someone shut him up!" cried Artemis over the din.

Zeus smiled at Apollo. He listened to the song and said, "Maybe I shall learn to sing like you, it would be fun…"

"No!" cried all the gods at once.

Finally Hephaestus brought out his hammer and hit Apollo hard over the head. The god slumped to the ground, completely unconscious.

"You have done Olympus a great favour," said Artemis. "May all the blessings of the gods be upon you."

Hades groaned. "And this wasn't even caused by my brothers. Olympia is doomed."

"Apollo could've probably destroyed a country though; his singing is enough to make buildings collapse."

"When you combine the gods of lightning, weather and sky, the sea, earthquakes and storms, there are bound to be greater troubles than a broken table," retorted Hades.

"Silence," snapped Hera. "We need to find out a solution quickly, before they destroy the world!"

Suddenly Athena leapt from her chair. "I've got it! I have a solution!"

Everyone turned to look at her. "We can create a massive tournament of games! Yes, the Olympic games."

"Sounds good actually," said Demetor.

Athena continued. "Some of us can participate, and we can call up mortals to worship us, compete in the games, and act as spectators. We can even hold betting!"

Now everyone was thoroughly interested. "It might just work," said Hera. "What do you think, Zeus?"

"I think it's a nice idea." He said. Poseidon nodded vigorously, showering the table pieces in sea water.

"Make the area in Olympia. The Greeks will be good hosts," suggested Artemis.

"Let's begin our preparations," said Athena.

To be continued…

**A/N: To new readers, hope you like. To my old readers, I hope these chapter edits make the story less short and flat. :)**


	2. Chaotic Voting

**God Games chapter 2: Chaotic Voting**

**A/N: Here's the newly edited/rewritten chapter 2. Hope it's good, and sorry if I messed up any historical data…But, it is a parody. :D**

"It's finally ready," said Athena proudly, as all of the deities surveyed the newly created arena. With stone pillars reaching into the skies, several areas for different events, and seating arrangements for both mortals and gods, it looked fabulous.

She smirked. They had managed this great feat in only fourteen days, miraculous considering most gods and semi gods were far too lazy to do much, with the exception of floating on clouds.

But, on hearing the news of Atlantis, everyone realised the importance and scrambled into frenzied action. Hermes was sent out as a messenger to the Greeks, who after recovering from their shock of seeing an immortal, they were delighted to have the event in their land.

He had also selected mortals, with a particular interest in the heroes of the Trojan War as competitors.

Artemis had snickered at the idea. "You plan to have mortals competing against gods?"

"It will amuse Zeus, and considering some of our own participants are rather….ah," Athena looked around. "Insane, it might be that some of the mortals will win."

"We should set rules, however," said Hera. "There will be no cheats, especially from gods."

"Let's have a vote to see who will get in." commented Demetor. "The results should be most interesting."

Xxxxxxxxx

On the day of the great vote, all the deities gathered to see what gods and mortals would have honorary positions in the Games.

Demetor passed around stone slabs for writing votes on to the group, with engravings on each stating what events there would be. There had been an earlier decision, founded by Athena, who had decided this, the most popular choices were archery, long jumping, chariot racing, boxing, weightlifting, spear throwing and sprinting.

Artemis kept a close eye on Apollo as he slid his vote into the archery box, remembering the catastrophic happenings last involving singing and stone. Other gods filed past and voted, even Aphrodite gingerly tapped her slab into the Boxing box.

When all the votes were over, Hera read them out.

"Artemis has received 10 votes for archery, and 8 for sprinting." Artemis beamed and sat down.

"Apollo has received 2 votes, also for archery." Hera looked suspiciously at Zeus and Poseidon. "Ares has received 5 votes for chariot racing, 6 for spear throwing and 4 for weightlifting."

The god of war grinned and brandished his spear. Aphrodite collapsed in a faint, and so Hephaestus and Ares fought over who should carry her back to her seat. Hera tried to continue, but the argument drowned out her voice.

"You are crippled, so obviously I should carry her back!" shouted Ares.

"She's fonder of me then she is of you," replied Hephaestus loftily.

"I'm stronger than you!"

"Is that so?"

Hestia promptly set the two of them on fire, so they dropped Aphrodite. Athena scowled. "Considering everything, you both could've carried her back. And there's no need to be strong, anyone could pick her up."

The two gods tried to find a source of water. Poseidon ran over, his wet robes dripping all over the polished floor. "Here, stand under my beard, I can put out the fire!"

Grumbling, they did so. Poseidon rung out his soaked hair and lobbed sea water all over them, effectively putting out the fire, but also covering them in nasty sea creatures.

After a few minutes of subduing the soaked and furious gods, Hera finally managed to continue.

"Athena has secured 8 votes for spear throwing, Hermes has received 4 votes for the sprint," a cheer interrupted this. "And for extras we have Hestia as the lighter of our Olympic torch, Athena as the organiser, and Hermes as game commentator, and interviewer."

A huge cheer went up from the crowd of gods, but Demetor stopped them. "That's all fine, but we have very few competitors in each event, we need more people."

"Mortals can do that job," said Athena. "And some of the gods can go in other events even if no one voted for them."

Xxxxxxxxx

"Listen, mortals," boomed Ares as he stood before the group that Hermes selected. "On this day you have been given a great chance, the chance of one of your short mortal life times, you shall be like us, even though we as gods are obviously greater in stature and…"

"Ares, enough with the speech," Hera snarled. "No one cares!"

He gave her a nasty look. "As I was saying, you shall have glory, praise, even praise from us gods, if you happen to be selected and win one of our challenges."

The men looked rather nervous, but still managed bright looks at the word 'glory'.

The other gods surveyed the group. Athena recognised most of them immediately. -Achilles, hero of Greece, Hector of Troy, Ajax of Greece, Hercules - Semi-god, Paris of Troy, and Odysseus the hero.

Athena spoke. "We will select which of you we feel would be best. I shall start." She gave them all a look. "I vote for Achilles to be in Sprinting."

Achilles looked horrified for a moment, and reflexively moved one of his feet behind him. Paris cackled. "Afraid of a little running?"

Achilles grabbed Paris' hair. "YOU SHOT ME IN THE FOOT, YOU LITTLE…"

"Apollo helped me," squeaked Paris. "His greatness guided my aim from poor to glorious!"

"You mean," grumbled Achilles, "he sang so horribly I lost consciousness, enabling you to jab an arrow in my heel."

"Are you saying I can't shoot well?"

"In fact, YES, you poor Trojan excuse for…" he stopped mid threat. A lady had come walking up the path.

"Hi, Achilles," she said with a smile.

"Briseis," Achilles hurriedly smiled and let go of Paris. The latter collapsed in a heap on the ground.

"Good luck with the games," she said, before her cousin Andromache motioned her aside.

"Goodbye," Achilles muttered with a star struck expression.

Ares rolled his eyes and picked the cowering Paris up. "More votes, anyone?"

The nymph Calypso glided over. "I vote for Odysseus," she declared, sending what she thought was a charming look in his direction. Odysseus muttered something incoherent, and slumped into a chair.

Calypso continued. "He can be in the chariot racing."

Just as she finished, Eupheme, the god of cheering, appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to cartwheel dramatically. "Winner for Odysseus," he cheered. "I vote for him too, for BOXING! Go, go go!"

A ball of fire caught him in the ear, and he ran off, albeit still cheering.

"Thank you, Hestia," said Artemis. "I vote for Hector, he can be in Weightlifting."

Zeus stomped up, Hera holding his arm like a vice. "We vote for Hercules, we want him to be in Weightlifting and Boxing."

"Thanks Dad!" Hercules beamed.

"That is unfair on the other competitors, you know," said Hades.

"I want him to be, and so he will be!" said Zeus. "You can't stop me!"

"I shouldn't even want to try," growled Hades. "You are after, all, the 'king' of the gods. But we did say, no cheats were allowed."

"My son won't be cheating at all," said Zeus.

"Even though his strength is natural, some could presume that he's taking artificial stimulants, therefore disqualifying him from all events."

"What are you saying?" asked Zeus, looking confused. Hades just smirked.

Xxxxxxxxx

"My turn to vote!" squealed Aphrodite. She adjusted her hair. "But who will I vote for?"

Artemis rubbed her forehead in exasperation. Aphrodite walked daintily in front of the contestants, looking at each one briefly, smiling at some (Ares and Hephaestus ground their teeth) until finally she stopped.

"I like Paris," she finally giggled. "He was the one that gave me the 'most beautiful' apple."

"Something which I feel he'll regret later," hissed Hera, while Athena gave the prince a venomous look.

"SO DO IIIIIIIIII!" came an operatic screech. Apollo had untied his gag again. "He can beeeeee in Archerrrrrrrrrrry!"

"Cut it out," said Aphrodite, holding her ears. "But yes," she proclaimed, as soon as Apollo was subdued. "He's wonderful in archery."

Paris gave her his most charming smile, which promptly made her faint again, causing Ares and Hephaestus to have another brawl.

Xxxxxxxxx

In the end, the votes were as follows:

Archery: Paris, Artemis, Apollo (was voted for by Zeus and Poseidon), and the Nymphai Hyperboreioi voted themselves in.

Boxing: Hercules, Ares, Hector and Odysseus.

Weightlifting: Hercules, Hector, Ajax, Paris, Ares, Hephaestus (The god of smithing wanted to impress Aphrodite)

Sprint: Artemis, Hermes, Achilles, Athena

Spear throwing: Athena, Ares, Hector and Paris

Long Jump: Artemis, Achilles, Hermes, Ajax

Chariot Racing: Ares, Ajax, Athena, Poseidon

Xxxxxxxxx

The grandstands were packed with mortals, titans, nymphs and gods on the grand day of the Olympics. Among the spectators were Zeus, Hera, Hades, Aphrodite, Calypso, Penelope (Odysseus' wife), Briseis and Helen of Troy.

"Thank you, thank you very much!" boomed Hermes at the crowd's wild applause. "We now have our Olympic contestants coming out to begin their first tasks. Let's give a big round to…our athletes!

The crowd applauded loudly again as all the contestants filed out. Hercules made a big show of walking out, turning around several times and giving winning smiles at the audience.

Paris winked at Helen and Aphrodite, who giggled and swooned simultaneously. Achilles waved to Briseis, who waved back. Ares and Hephaestus still looked annoyed at each other but were too far away to do anything about Aphrodite, so no trouble was caused.

In the lower grandstand, Geras, the spirit of old age, looked enviously at the boxers. "When I was younger, I had myself even finer muscles than those boys, but now I'm just too old…"

"Doom will come of this, it stands even at the door," whispered Moros, god of doom.

Leaning on the stone seat, Hypnos – the god of sleep – looked blearily up. "Did I miss something?" he rubbed his eyes.

"No you didn't," said Moros. "The doom is still to come."

"Wake me up when it's here," said Hypnos, and snored loudly.

"I just can't believe this is happening!" came a shriek from one of the aisles. Horme ran up and threw himself in-between Hypnos and Geras. "Aren't the games just GREAT?"

"Calm down, son," wheezed Geras. "Not all of us are as young and vibrant as you."

"That's right," snorted Hypnos. "You may be the god of excitement, but can't you leave some poor gods in peace?"

"I'm so incredibly sorry," babbled Horme. "I am just so excited."

All of the present company rolled their eyes.

Xxxxxxxxx

Back in the centre of the arena Hermes flew backwards and forwards in front of the recording crystal ball.

"Yes, ye gods, titans and mortals. Today we have the games of a life time! I'm Hermes, your commentator, and now we will be broadcasting live to all crystal balls and magic fountains around the globe, so that everyone can watch this special event!"

"I just hope this will be enough entertainment to subdue Zeus and Poseidon," muttered Hera.

"That will soon be seen," replied Athena.

**A/N: Please review!**


	3. Announcements and Archery

**GOD GAMES Chapter 3 – Announcements and Archery**

**A/N: This is the last of the edited chapters, chapter 4 will be posted today while chapter 5 is currently being written. :)**

Trumpets blared across the massive stadium as the crowds cheered for their favourite athletes. Several titans and giants in the background made spectacular displays of elemental powers, to the onlookers' delight.

Hermes flew around flashing a bright smile at the recording crystal.

"Welcome, welcome, Gods and mortals alike, to the most spectacular event this land has ever seen!"

All over the grandstands cheers and whistles were heard everywhere.

"Thank you, thank you very much," Hermes bowed slightly. "Now in order to begin, might I ask Hestia, goddess of the hearth to light the holy flame?"

Hestia floated down to where the torch was sitting and put her hands on the rim. It promptly burst into flames.

"Alright," Hermes shouted. "Ladies, gentlemen and Titans, I present to you the first event: Archery!"

A roar went up from the crowd and wild fans waved signs for their favourite athletes.

Hermes continued. "We present our handpicked archers: Number 1 being Artemis, our very own goddess of the hunt!"

Artemis ran out to the centre of the arena carrying her bow and quiver of arrows, as her fellow gods cheered her on.

"Next up," said Hermes, "Are Apollo the god and Paris of Troy." His voice went down a few notches as open distain registered on his face.

Despite this, Apollo and Paris walked on out, with Paris giving his famous award winning smiles at everyone in the audience. Shortly following them were the three Nymphai Hyperboreioi.

"Stand up, stand up everybody!" Hermes waved to the athletes. "Take up your places!"

Paris flipped back his hair and drew his bow, earning applause from the grandstand. He drew an arrow and fitted it with as much show as possible.

Artemis rolled her eyes at him from where she was fixing Apollo's extra tight gag. "Apollo won't be able to help you now, mortal. Get ready for competition."

Paris gave her an offended look, and brushed some invisible dirt off of his tunic. Unfortunately, this action caused him to jab himself in the foot with his arrow.

From his seat above Achilles watched triumphantly as the prince went whining to his brother. "So, like getting an arrow in your foot? Now you know how it feels…"

Hector tried to retain his dignity as Paris grasped his leg like a tree. Artemis gave him a sympathetic look. Realising that thousands of mortals and gods were avidly staring at him, he hurriedly tried to remedy the situation.

"Paarris," he coaxed. "You have to win the archery event!"

Paris only grabbed his leg tighter. Wincing, Hector tried again. "No one is as good an archer as you."

At this all of the archers gave him black looks. He ignored them. "You wouldn't want your tunic getting ruined by all the dust around, would you?"

Paris looked in horror at his fancy tunic and sprang away from Hector. By this time Asclepius the god of healing floated over and healed the small injury. Picking up his bow, Paris sniffed and went back to standing next to Apollo.

"Finally," breathed Hermes. "Now, on the count of 3, shoot at your targets!"

Xxxxxxx

Back in the top box of the grandstand, the gods lazed on their seats idly while observing the mortal kings and royals they had allowed into their presence. By far the most exuberant of them was King Priam of Troy.

"That's it my boys! Make your father proud!"

Hades pulled the Helm of Darkness further over his face. "Priam, your encouraging gestures are doing little to help. You do realise that, don't you?"

King Priam of Troy frowned at Hades and looked up at Zeus for backup. Unfortunately for him, Zeus was too busy drooling over Helen who sat a few rows down.

Hestia changed the conversation flow. "To amuse ourselves, why don't we place a bet or two?"

"Don't use any money," said Hera. "Gods don't need it and there's no reason to increase the riches of mortals."

Hades smirked. "Who's to say gods don't like gold? Even I rather appreciate its look after removing it from a dead man's eyelids."

Zeus snorted. "You're far too morbid, Hades. And wasn't that gold meant to be pay for your boatman?"

The lord of the Underworld twitched the corner of his mouth and blew a puff of smoke through his fingers. "Mortals will believe anything, and I suppose I shouldn't expect much more from you?"

"Why don't we use grapes?" suggested Dionysus. Everyone gaped at him. Thanatos smashed his head against a nearby pillar.

"Grapes, GRAPES?" hissed Hera. "Are the components of alcohol the only thing you can think about?"

"Whatever. I'm just the god of wine, never mind me," glowered Dionysus, acting like an oversized child.

As if the situation wasn't bad enough, Agamemnon, king of Greece approached the group, bowing as he sat down.

At that moment Paris flipped an arrow into his bow and bent it with a twang.

"THAT'S MY BOY! THAT'S MY SON!" shouted Priam. Hades cringed and covered his ears. Agamemnon scowled.

"Achilles could beat your two wimpy sons any day, Priam, and you know it."

"I beg to differ," snarled Priam, turning to face the rival king. "As I recall, my son shot your hero in the foot and killed him."

"Well guess what? My 'hero' beat your son first and had a son who eventually stabbed you in the back, the only reason we're all alive again is due to this 'contest!"

Thanatos couldn't take it anymore. "Alright, okay! We'll bet with grapes!"

xxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXXXx

"Ready, Aim, FIRE!" Hermes last command was followed immediately as all competitors released their arrows. The three Nymphai Hyperboreioi smirked and rubbed their hands together. They of course had hit dead centres all in a row.

Artemis scowled, but smiled as she saw she had also hit centre. Apollo had hit the first ring and Paris, shockingly, had managed to hit the second. He winked at Artemis, who stood seething beside him.

"See, hunter. I can compete against gods."

"You must have cheated!" shouted Artemis. She shook Apollo violently. "DID YOU IN ANY WAY HELP HIM?"

Apollo shook his head and gave a few muffled squeaks. Artemis let him go and retrieved her arrow from the target.

Hermes took up his media position in front of the recording crystal. "Ladies, Gentlemen and Nymphs, you have just watched the archery competition with amazing results.

In the lead we have Artemis, goddess of hunting with a high score of 92, with follow up Apollo, god of Archery in second place scoring 88!"

The Nymphai Hyperboreioi glared as their teeth ground loudly. Paris scowled so hard that wrinkle lines formed on his face.

"How dare you outvote us out of this competition, I mean, how could you outvote ME?" he screeched. Everyone looked at him in disgust.

Hermes yawned. "This competition takes no preference over any competitor; it all depends on what they score. And you three," he motioned to the angry demi gods, "You are the aspects of archery in its entirety, of course you can't score!"

The losers began to storm towards Hermes, angrily waving their arms. But just as Paris had got a hold on Hermes' winged foot, Hybis and Koelamos, spirits of foolishness and outrageous behaviour swooped down and snatched the scorekeeping tablet.

They cackled wildly while zooming above the stadium.

"You little…" Artemis fitted an arrow and shot at both of them. With evil grins the two deflected the shots and continued to fly around the stadium.

Hermes finally managed to wriggle away from Paris and grabbed his magic voice increaser.

"We are sorry for this delay, but the games crystal ball commentary and viewings are temporarily shut down, due to 'technical' difficulties. We are sorry for the inconvenience."

xxxXXxxxxXXXXxxxxxx

Back in the lower grandstands…

"I told you this would come to doom," said Moros. Geras grunted.

"Better wake up Hypnos then."

To be continued…


	4. Spectacular Sporting

**God Games chapter 4 – Spectacular Sporting**

**A/N: Newly written chapter, I hope to put up chapter 5 tomorrow. **

The arena was still in a panic half an hour later, with Hermes wailing as he careened wildly through the air, just missing the pillars of the stadium as Hybis and Koelamus cacked, gleefully holding on to his feet.

"Would somebody please help me out here?" He screeched as the snickering imps dragged one of his ankles upwards, making him hang stupidly in front of the grandstands.

Zeus beamed. "But this is entertaining enough! Shall I add some lightening?" He asked Hybis.

Hybis' laughing reply was cut short by a hard slap from Hera. "That is enough! Hermes, get out of there and get broadcasting. We have the Olympics to run!"

The spirit of foolishness was knocked off balance by force of the slap, so much that with a squeal he lost hold of Hermes' foot and tumbled down. With the force of this momentum Koelamus also fell, just saved from hitting the ground by bouncing off Apollo's harp.

Now free, Hermes flew over to the Nymphai Hyperboreioi who were discreetly attempting to change their scores on the tablet.

"That'll be enough from you three. Back to the grandstands where you belong." He picked up the magic voice increaser and gave a beaming smile at the recording crystal ball.

"Recording resumes as technicalities are ironed out. We now proudly present to you, live from Olympia, our next event…Which may I warn you is only for the strongest and best: Boxing!"

More cheers arose from the crowd while Zeus jumped out of his seat and shouted 'HERCULES' repeatedly until Athena and Hera pushed him back.

Hermes continued. "We now present our competitors: Number 1, Odysseus! This was greeted by wild applause and Calypso floated over, holding a "Odysseus the Amazing' board. She waved as Odysseus grumblingly came out on to the field.

"Next up," motioned Hermes, "is Hector, prince of Troy!"

Priam almost fell out of the grandstands. "YOU DID IT MY SON! YOU ARE THE HERO OF TROY FOREVER AFTER!" Hades gagged on the stick he was smoking, as he muttered something about favouritism, and Agamemnon turned blue and mouthed Greek insults towards the elated Trojan king.

"And finally, we have important figures" a drumming sound came from behind Hermes, "Ares, god of war, and Hercules, son of Zeus!" 

Zeus beamed again and several lightning bolts emerged from his hand. Poseidon clapped animatedly, causing even more sea water to splatter over the seating area. Aphrodite gave a look of horror and scooted several seats away.

Hades rolled his eyes as Hercules strode out to stand behind the others. Hephaestus gave Ares an "I win" look as he found that Aphrodite had moved next to where he sat. Ares angrily threw a dagger up at Hephaestus, but the god of smithing smiled as his giant hammer deflected the dagger, flattening it into crushed bits.

To avoid further confrontations, Hermes hurriedly announced "Let the games begin" before flying away from thrown objects and foolish spirits.

To make things somewhat fair, it was decided that first Odysseus and Hector would be in one group, and Hercules and Ares in the other. No weapons were allowed of course, and Asclepius had a close eye on Hercules to make sure he didn't cheat.

Dionysus volunteered to be the timekeeper, with an amphora of wine hanging loosely from one hand and a ram horn trumpet in the other; he shuffled merrily up to the boxing ring.

"Let's get this party started," He slurred. "Would either of you fancy a drink before the fight? They say it has great energy giving abilities…"

"From the looks of you, I think I'll pass," Hector muttered as Dionysus wobbled on one foot before regaining his balance.

"Well then, step on up. And do take some wine afterwards," the wine god hiccupped and grabbed the side of the ring to lean against.

Odysseus and Hector climbed over the ring to yet more cheers from the stadium. Odysseus looked up and saw Calypso waving at him, while on the other side was his wife Penelope glaring at the nymph. He sighed. This wasn't going to end well.

They put on their boxing gloves and circled around the ring while trying to ignore the drunken ravings of Dionysus who had temporarily fallen into an alcohol related stupor.

Eventually, Odysseus was distracted by Calypso's high pitched singing from the stands. He put his hands over his ears to stop the ringing, so Hector managed to get in several punches before he too covered his ears from an even greater disruption.

Apollo, who had been trying to mend his harp (It had broken when Koelamus bounced off of it) suddenly managed to 'tune it' and after hearing Calypso, he promptly burst into song, thus making everyone in the entire stadium wince from the noise.

Artemis, upon hearing the clamour, ran up several rows of seats and hit Apollo hard with a jug. It smashed over his head and effectively dazed him, allowing Artemis to stuff several pieces of cloth in his mouth.

Apollo recovered from his daze and made an attempt to grab his harp but Artemis had foreseen this move and snatched the harp out of Apollo's grip, throwing it far out of reach.

It sailed through the air and hurtled downwards right into one of the lower grandstands where Hypnos, Moros, Horme, and Geras were sitting.

Xxxxxxxxx

Geras, who had been muttering almost the entire time about 'Finer muscles' and 'boxing', received an annoyed look from Hypnos.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep!"

"There are more important things in life than sleeping for all eternity," Geras grunted, poking Hypnos with his walking stick. "Like observing the younger generation, oh, it's been a long time since I was that young…" He stared glassily off into the distance.

Horme turned towards Geras, his eyes shining brightly with enthusiasm. "But I heard that you were born old and always will be old." He waved his hands about. "I wish I could be like that, it would be so exciting!"

As usual, he was ignored.

Their conversation was interrupted by Apollo's harp sailing towards them. Before they had a chance to react, it hit Horme with a thud, knocking him out.

"That was his doom. He didn't see it, but the doom was upon him like a shadow in the night," whispered Moros gravely.

"At least he will be occupied for awhile," sighed Hypnos. "Peace and sleep will reign again."

"Never underestimate enthusiasm," said Geras. "He'll be back before long."

Xxxxxxxxx

Back in the ring Odysseus and Hector were able to remove their hands from their ears as Apollo was silenced. But what about Calypso, Odysseus wondered. He scanned the seats to see a smug Penelope motioning to the other side of the stadium.

Calypso and Eupheme were flying, hanging upside-down by their feet, while Hybis and Koelamus shrieked with laughter as they held on.

"And as you see, said Hermes, who looked rather pleased, "All disturbers of the peace will be treated to this kind of punishment. You have been warned." Then, with media smile up again, "Please do continue the fight, and we are sorry for the inconvenience."

Odysseus and Hector circled the ring again, this time Odysseus managed to punch Hector.

"That's for starting the war!"

"I recall it being your side, Greek!"

Odysseus angrily retaliated. "If your stupid younger brother hadn't stolen the king's wife this wouldn't have happened."

Hector furiously stepped on Odysseus' foot. "It was you Greeks who drove a fake horse into our city, destroying it!"

Odysseus grinned slightly. "Oh right, I was there inside of the horse. It was the best day of my life." 

"You take that back!"

Dionysus woke up just in time to stop the brawl. He took a firmer hold on the ram horn trumpet and screamed out a cacophony of noise (To which Apollo leaned forward eagerly to listen) startling Hector and Odysseus out of their argument.

"Times up," He waddled towards the ring and held out the almost empty amphora. "Sure you don't fancy a drink?"

The answer he received was being hit with his amphora, courtesy of Ares.

"Call it a tie, mortals," said the war god. "You fought pitifully."

The two mortals gave Ares a combined black look and climbed out of the ring.

"I'll be the timekeeper," Ares said coolly. He was interrupted however by Athena landing on the ground next to him.

"Competitors are not allowed to time keep Ares."

"That's ridiculous. I'm a god!"

"It's against the rules," Athena said firmly. She motioned to the grandstands. "Would anyone (besides Zeus) like to time keep?"

Fortunately Zeus was too busy counting his fingers, so he didn't notice. Taking the opportunity, Hephaestus stood up, supported by his crutches. "I'll keep score!"

Ares actually levitated a few feet off the ground as his whole face turned purple and steam came out of his nose and ears.

Hercules however looked delighted. "Of course, it would be fabulous for you to keep time!"

"Why….No…You can't! Why don't we select the god of time? Ares sputtered.

"Chronus is out with Themis, Titan of law and order. Last I heard they were giving lengthy jail sentences to a couple of Giants after they cheated in Discus throwing." Athena answered.

"Let's start the fight, Ares," said Hercules.

Hephaestus wore a large smile as his donkey carried him to the boxing ring.

"Climb into the ring, please," he intoned, while Aphrodite proceeded to faint.

Ares grumblingly climbed into the ring while Hercules cart wheeled over the side, to the amusement of the crowd. Zeus clapped loudly, causing bolts of lightning to flash over the arena.

"Starting, now!" boomed Hephaestus

Ares quickly managed a punch at Hercules, but before he could react, the son of Zeus simply poked him, sending him flying out of the ring.

From above, Hades grimaced. "Cheat."

Ares jumped off of the ground and ran over to the ring. "That was unfairly matched!" He bellowed.

Hephaestus grinned. "I declare Hercules the winner!"

Everyone clapped and Aphrodite blew a kiss in Hephaestus' direction. Ares tackled the smithing god.

"Enough!" shouted Asclepius. "Stop this fighting at once. I have enough healing to do as it is!"

Xxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, Hercules was waving to the crowd. "Of course I win," he proclaimed. "I am the son of Zeus and I escaped the halls of the underworld, a simple god cannot defeat me!"

Zeus nearly toppled out of his seat. "THAT'S MY BOY! THAT'S MY SON!"

Hera looked disapprovingly at Priam. "I think you've just taught Zeus how to be one hundred times more irritating."

"He did escape the underworld though," commented Demetor.

"What can I say?" said Hades indifferently. "He must have got lucky."

Xxxxxxxxx

Hermes flew out of hiding back in front of the recording crystal.

"Thank you very much for watching the Olympics live today. Stay tuned for our next event, which might I add will include four of your favourite competitors, as well as two newcomers. We present to you: Weightlifting!"

To be continued in chapter 5…


End file.
